It’s okay to cry your eyes out. It’s okay to feel like shit when you’ve just lost ‘the (so-called) love of life’. I dealt with it by throwing everything in my room (including my clothing rack) and cried and cried and cried until I felt like I didn’t have any tears anymore for the rest of my life. I even called my mom sobbing for like an hour because I found out something awful and I cried even more. But remember this — he (or she) doesn’t deserve your tears and once you’ve moved on I swear to you you will regret all those tears you’ve poured for someone who doesn’t value you.
Find your comfort person
In my case, it was my mom. What more comforting than a mother reassuring her daughter that everything is going to be okay? A friend will work too but are you completely sure that your friend is not clapping their hands mocking you behind their back? I’m not saying that all friends will treat you like that but hey, we’ve heard stories about fake friends before, do we not? But if you trust that person with your life then by all means, go ahead and sob to them. Having a shoulder to cry on helps a lot but if and only if they cared enough about you. I’ve had people who didn’t really care about what I was going through so I didn’t really tell much to that person because deep down, I knew that they didn’t care.
So after my breakup I went ahead and purchase a notebook that I made into a journal. I penned my thoughts there and by thoughts I mean ruining the pages with my feelings. I remember drawing overlooping circles as hard as I can with a pen until the pages were torn apart. I remember writing down all the curse words you could have ever imagined as large and as hard as I can until the ink bled through. I was raging with hurt and a person like me who was overwhelmed with all sorts of thoughts deserve a medium to channel my feelings into words and drawings.
Throw out all his things
If they were expensive, you should probably keep it or sell it to get some money to be spent at Sephora. If they were cheap af, throw those shits away, hon. Burn it if you must. I didn’t throw any because hello, I wasn’t that hurt to be throwing away bag, shirt, and scarf from overseas lol. I wear and use them again once I’ve moved on because your gal is not affected by those things anymore. I have completely moved on happily. But in the mean time, though, you should probably store those things away until you’re feeling better. You don’t need reminiscence of your ugly pasts haunting your future.
Focus on yourself
The first thing I did for myself after my breakup was my eyebrows. I had thick eyebrows that made my eye area looked untidy so I went ahead and got them waxed at Benefit — 50 ringgit well spent. I focused on clearing my skin and putting on makeup and wearing nice clothes to campus. I started posting photos on Instagram regularly not because I needed the attention but because hey, I’m bloomin’ and I’m finally feeling like myself again. I even started beauty blogging of the gems I found at the drugstore. I had something to do to make me forget the pain and I was proud of my blog.
Quit with the stalking
Sometimes we couldn’t help but stalk our ex’s social medias but I can promise you that him (or her) tweeting or retweeting the lyrics to Say Something (A Great Big World ft. Christina Aguilera) is NOT for you. They don’t care about you nor will they ever come back so just stop hoping. Think of the worst case scenario — they are not coming back and you have to move on. If they really loved you, they wouldn’t have left! Stop texting him. Stop calling him. Just stop. Do yourself a favour and cut all connections to them. What if your stalking ended up with you finding out that you have been replaced? Why would you torture yourself like that? Well take it from me — I did those and it hurt like hell when it happened so who’s really losing here? Me. Stalking gives no benefit. The anxiety of waiting for their social medias to load the latest feed just so you can see who they’re talking to is so so not worth it.
Last but not least is… breathe. No matter how shitty the things you’re going through right now, always be thankful that you’re still alive. You are alive. The storm shall pass. Time will heal. Everything will be okay. I know that it is hard to be optimistic when you’ve just went through what felt like the most awful thing ever (I can assure you that breakup is minuscule compared to other problems) but it will be okay. I thought that that was the end of my life too. I thought that I can never be happy with someone else that wasn’t my ex. I questioned why does this happen to me when I had it all? And you probably won’t find out why if you don’t let it go completely. Although breakup is something that I never ever want to go through ever again, I know that if I had to then I will be okay. Maybe not instantly, though, but eventually I will be.