What I Realised About My Blog

Been blogging on and off for almost a decade, I have made multiple blogs across multiple platforms as I did not have a clear view of what I wanted my blog to be or what platform I wanted to use. We all started on Blogger, am I right? It’s fast and easy to set up and who has the time and money, for instance, to set up a self-hosted blog anyway? Blogging was relatively new at that time and no newbie blogger would want to spend money on something they’re not sure they’re going to do for ever.

I was doing my usual blogwalking on Bloglovin’ and visiting new posts by blogs I followed and I had this sudden ‘ding’ moment when I thought of searching my old blog I created way back in 2014. I knew it still exists on Bloglovin’ but I was not sure that I could still read the full posts. I have deleted that blog years ago but I read somewhere that Bloglovin’ keeps cache version of all blogs even if they have been deleted by the owner.

There was this one post on my old blog that I have been dying to read again and it was about my boyfriend (then, friend) when we went out before he went to the UK. I only got to read a short excerpt of that post on Bloglovin’ along with other posts on my old blog circa 2014. I tried clicking every permalink of that said post and lo and behold — the date permalink open up a page on Bloglovin’ with the full post on it.

I was. SHOOK!

So I click the date permalink of other posts and everything is still there, you guys. Even the posts I didn’t remember writing and taking photos of. I wanted to post the link here but I don’t want you people reading my old blog posts as I had just went through a bad break up that time where there is an emotional post after every makeup review post I did haha.

Upon reading my old blog posts, I realised one thing — I was a very pure blogger who took blog photos with my Android camera and wrote whatever I wanted not minding if my blog post was worthy enough to get at least 10 comments on. Heck, I didn’t even get comments on my posts as I have that feature turned off because I was scared of what people thought of my blog. I was very insecure, eh?

Despite that, I had so much fun writing on my blog. I didn’t care about SEO nor the lighting when I took blog photos with a smartphone instead of a fancy camera. I was stress-free because I didn’t care what people thought of my blog. I used the plain ol’ Simple template that I tweaked until it looked.. like a better Simple template but nothing like the current layout I have now (which is da bomb btw I’m in love!).

Nowadays, all I think about before publishing a post is whether people would read and comment on it and to be quite honest that is kind of depressing to think of every time I have something to share on my blog. I am stuck in between posting some random I-just-typed-whatever-that-came-to-my-mind and DSLR-quality-photos-magazine-style posts and in return my blog goes through days, even weeks without any new posts because I just didn’t have the time to properly curate a blog post that I am 100% satisfied with and that sucks.

I believe in blogging whatever the heck your heart desires but I strongly want to be satisfied with my contents and those two do not go together all that well. Do you see my dilemma especially now that I’m back to being a full-time student with a little to no time for my blog let alone spending hours just to create one post? I’d rather take a 3-hour nap after class.

My point is I’m still figuring out life as we speak and I may post fluff posts or I may not but I hope that in the month of April I can publish at least 15 posts because girl my blog feed right now is dry. You click on page 2 and there’s still a post dated back in February (by the time you’re reading this the February post is pushed to the 3rd page HAH you belong there, mister.)

I hope this wasn’t too long of a post that it bores you to death. If you make it to the end — do you feel what I feel about blogging right now?

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  • I sometimes wanna share some personal fluffy or emotional post on my blog, but didn’t because i feel nobody will read it or people will judge me differently.
    In blogging we can do whatever our heart desire as long it makes us happy

    Atheera / http://atheeradayana.com

    • so true! i might go back to posting fluff posts though just because you can see more of the blogger’s personality through their personal posts. nothing makes me happier than knowing that my readers can relate to me x

  • SamanthaSeries

    I understand what you mean. When I first started blogging, I would write freely… Now, I feel like a blog post needs to be more planned out and cohesive, and have more substance. I still enjoy blogging! But I think this is a dilemma that most bloggers encounter.

    Samantha Series

    • that is true. nowadays, publishing one post can take up to couple of hours to do. it’s all about that perfect photos and nicely written contents, eh x

  • I always thought so and even now torn between it. I try to made a more niche-oriented post but it feel so faraway but at the same time a sense of accomplishment. Hard thoughts and puzzling mind, I just decide to just do whatever. I’ll write what ever. Simply doing what made me feel better. Even though if it meants sucking in traffice etc. Reckless but blogging has always been therapeutic for me so if we’re doing pros and cons balancing, my mind health is such a big pro. Not all people the same though.

    • i agree. however, i may need some time to go back to blogging-whatever-i-want, though. i’m still figuring out direction of my blog x

  • Lenne Zulkiflly

    i feel you erin!!! and yep, my blog feed is super dry nowww it’s feels like a desert lol

    • ikr! i need the enthusiasm to start posting regularly again ugh x

  • i wish i could read my old blog too! and its all rubbish to be honest. its something nobody would read. but yeah, writing whatever that crossed our mind is pretty much more fun actually. tak payah bingung apa-apa. once done terus click publish. but now dah explore much about dunia blogging, it just feel different!!

    • rasa lain kan? the more you blogwalk and come across better blogs, the more you rasa macam every post you kena very polished and gmbr always nak lawa. it sucks sebab kena spend so much time untuk publish one post yang betul betul puas hati x

  • I 100% agree with you on this! Back in the days, I would write about whatever and would be comfortable with sharing with everyone about my thoughts. Nowadays, I am too scared to let anyone in on my personal life because I know there’s a lot of nosey people. Sucks that I can’t freely post anymore, but I do enjoy blogging!

    Nhi Archibald | Life with Nhi Archibald

    • ikr! i stopped blogging so much about my personal life because obviously anyone can read it so i’m stuck with blogging about beauty and things that do not show my private life as much x

  • Steph

    I’m by no means an established blogger. Not at all. I haven’t gone through what you’re going through but I know this: it’s apparent that you still remember how you started and why you started blogging. Your blog has grown and your content has changed but one thing hasn’t- you. You’re still the author. You’re the one that presses ‘publish’ on each post. It’s still your choice what appears in your blog- or doesn’t.

    If you’re blogging “what your heart desires” then I promise, you’ll be satisfied!

    Steph
    http://www.socialspying.com

    • thank you for the advice! it just makes me realise that i am still me and i do not want to lose myself and my personality in blogging x

  • It’s okay to write random fluffy personal post because I’ll be your number one loyal reader, Erin 🙂

    • thank you so much! i really appreciate it xx

  • Personally I don’t, I have always blogged about what I care about and although it is disheartening when your posts don’t get the interaction and traffic you want I think it is more important that you write for you. I do understand though, blogging has changed dramatically and a lot of posts are all about SEO and traffic and getting featured on Bloglovin’ which are all great and helpful but at the same time it’s just a constant reminder that your blog could be doing better. Don’t let it get to you and remember why you loved it in the first place. You have come so far and I am so glad you found your old blog posts so you recall how it used to feel and maybe we can all get that back again. Great post, Erin, thank you for sharing xxx

    ALittleKiran | Bloglovin

    • great advice Kiran, thank you so much x

  • nadiah izzaty

    Blog lama nadia dah delete dah hihihi sebab rasa mcm tulisan tah pape je. malu bila baca balik. hahaha

    Dear , this part >>> ” Heck, I didn’t even get comments on my posts as I have that feature turned off because I was scared of what people thought of my blog ” >>> nadia selalu rasa nak buat mcm tue, hihihi sebab memang blog nadia the least comment I get is around 2 – 3 comments in my one blog post. Sometimes I do feel sad to see that. But, at one time I feel , it’s ok maybe I need to improve more here and there etc. Maybe penulisan nadia ke tak ok or anything lah. And, I do grateful at least ada orang nak left comment in my page. =)

    Ye lah , if blogwalking my other blogger friends page best je tgk comments sampai 30 , 50 , 100++ . hihihi

    Whatevrer it is , blogging is fun . I love to blog and share but I do have a main major problem : to always update my blog. hihi

    Erin update ke, tak update ke your blog. I still keep coming here cuma bila tak nampak entry post baru tertnya jugak ” mana Erin ? ” hihi

    keep on blogging dear =)

    • nasib baik blog masa form 1 dulu dah delete. sedangkan yang 3, 4 tahun lepas pun tah apa apa, ni kan yang sedekad lepas aaaa hahahaha.

      erin ada je nadia. selalu je blogwalking, baca blog orang semua tapi tu lah nak update blog tu malas haha x

  • I understand what you mean…. although I don’t really think about if others will read my posts or not I just think about the quality of the content. I still want my content to be good and appealing to the eye. I’m not a pro and have a lot to learn but I feel like my blog has finally chosen its path. There’s always room for growth and improving along the road ! All in all, I blog because I want to and if no ones reading my blog; that’s fine by me. I still enjoy it and consider my blog a platform to share my story to whoever is interested ❤️

    Michaela
    http://www.graceandcoy.com

    • great sharing. thank you for reading, Michaela x

  • To be honest I enjoyed blogging more when I had no idea what I was doing. It felt more real, authentic and just care free, but obviously knowing what you’re doing exactly is also helpful. I’m not complaining but I miss the good ol’ times where I just wrote completely whatever I wanted. I still do but it’s more restricted now. Great post 🙂

    • i feel you! i feel restricted to blog as carefree as i did years ago because there’s so many great blogs out there and i always feel this urge to compare my blog with other great blogs. that’s really bad x

  • i love ur blog seriously. nice entry neat blog. my kind of blog’s crush eh haha

  • Wahidah Aziz

    I think some blogger share the same dilemma because I feel you. But instead of deleting my old blog (which contains 8 years of emotional / post breakup / cheesy-puke-inducing / boring daily activities entries), I keep that one private and made a new blog. So I still can write freely in first blog without being judge and write planned entry in second blog. Btw, your blog inspire me to setup the new blog. Thank you for that 🙂

    • “(which contains 8 years of emotional / post breakup / cheesy-puke-inducing / boring daily activities entries)” goshhh i’m so guilty of posting about boyfriends and breakups! not gonna go down that road ever again, trust me hahaha.

      aww i’m so glad! i hope you enjoy blogging x

  • Siqah Hussin

    Ohh my Erin! I can feel you…

    Siqah ada blog lama sangat childish, share everything personal and emotional (gaduh dgn bf pun post entri, haha). Tak nak delete sebab itu semua adalah kenangan dan Siqah tahu deep inside, I’ll always want to go back to my back memories <3 . Want to make it private but I don't remember the password T_T

    Tak dinafikan, Siqah kadang2 nak juga post emotional or apa2 lah, tapi stop sebab macam takut orang judge dan macam tak nak memalukan diri. Huhu.

    I agree much with this point "all I think about before publishing a post is whether people would read and comment on it and to be quite honest that is kind of depressing" – Inilah dilema seorang blogger T_T

    Apa pun, I love blogging. Akan terus dalam dunia blogging walaupun tak selalu post entri 😀

    Keep on blogging, Erin. I read everything in your blog <3

    • childish kan dulu dulu! hahaha serious taknak ingat balik zaman zaman post pasal boyfriend eeee memalukan T.T

      kan? kadang kadang bila mood emo tu datang and nak post benda benda emo tapi segan orang baca so terkubur je niat tu. maybe boleh kot lepasni post benda emo tapi kena pandai cover la haha.

      thank you so much siqah! <3

  • Caroline

    Totally feel you girl! I had my first blog in 2009 and the quality was shitty. Nowadays, everything has to be high quality and that isn’t even enough to “make it big”, because the competition in the blogging world is just crazy.
    x from copenhagen, http://www.silverstories.dk

    • the blogging market is really saturated these days. i think i’m fine with blogging for my self-satisfaction heh x

  • I feel you! My posts back then were happy-go-lucky, random and I don’t give a shiet. Haha. Nowadays I blog less because I can’t do that anymore, publicly. Not that I hate it, I still love blogging just that I am posting rarely as my idea well has dried up. And no one really comments :p

    http://www.hanablurbs.com

    • i miss those days when we can post whatever we want. we’re always running out of ideas 😛 x

      • Ahahaha. IKR. Even now still strugglin with ideas :’D

  • Mai cuma ada satu blog ni je. Dan semua childish entries dah jadi draft balik, cuma tak delete.

    Betul, bila baca balik, rasa macam lagi enjoy menulis masa dulu. Free dan tak kisah apa orang kata. Sekarang rasa macam tersekat sikit. tapi enjoy menulis tu still masih ada, hihihi.

    • betul tu. tapi sekarang erin nak start balik tulis blog mcm tu which is sesuka hati je nak post apa. rasa mcm tu lagi original kan 🙂

  • Sofija Piletic

    Very insightful post! Keep it up! Xx